Rosa Kelana

Candi, 29 Maret 2013, I am very grateful that I can go through the dark, now the day is clearer though there is no lark singing, it is very tranquil. A better thing is I realize that I must take good care of myself, protect myself and love myself sincerely. An improvement that has happened inside myself is I have become myself thoroughly, I can controll everything I have done, a life that totally differs from yesterday. Yesterday, I was always in different time and in different place, I meant what I was doing differed from what I was thinking. My mind was always rambling, I was always dreaming, the reality was different from the expectation, and I seemed to always have self disappointment, so I had never done thing seriously, and I felt having self failure, though I was awashed with luxery, but I always felt disabled. Happily , now it was over, my life had been totally changed. I have promised to be down-to-earth, I don't want to keep any resentment, grudge or heartache in my...

Friday , March 8, 2013 I am now in the brim of proverty in my life, I don't have any activities to support my own daily life, and I don't have money either. Since yesterday, I have asked Surono for money, the kind of thing that I have never done so far, but it saved my life  for this moment. At least, I need money for pulse of HP and laptop to the amount Rp. 250 thousand monthly, I remember, when I was visiting a clairvoyance at Batu, Malang, a chinese voodoo, predicting that I would be in a poverty when I passed my fifties, now I have been in the sixties, it seems that the prediction has come true. I have friends, and for the time being, I can cry out a help to them, I have been thinking of my nephew, asking him to help me with some amount of money to fill into my bank account, I don't know whether he is in a position to do that or not, I mean, does he have money for that, and how much amount he will put it my bank account, I don't know. I don't expect too much...