THAT'S LIFE
I hope this becomes my new era, as from Sunday, 22nd April 2012, I walk on in the crowd, nothing special from now on. I just lost nearly everything, world, wealth, and also "head". I want to live as good as possible, I can make myself look as happy as possible, I have long time withdrawn from normal life, from society, Now, when I have nothing, I am to walk on and make this life good. Yes, maybe everything will not be important now, having world and wealth will only make other people envy. Envy will make crook, dishonest person to commit crime. From now on I must walk in a grace as if I am a wealthy woman, full with loves and happiness. Yes, that's it. I will do it.
Life is not easy like this, and it will not easy in the days to come, if you can not do anything to make this life colorful. How? What shall I do? I know that I only have to live like a happy wanderer, like a cheerful sparrow. Singing along the mountain track. I want too, I want to fill this life with a happy song, no matter how empty this life will be,
Today April 26, 2012 I made another decision, now I have been free, I have no burden anymore, the burden here has gone. At least one burden has gone. To go on, I have only to make myself healthy.
Life is that so flat, like this sunday morning, I felt very gloomy, there is no other activities that can be done. Now, I have nothing to be done, and wonder, where will this life of mine will go? Yes, I confess that I still dream of the impossible, I know it, it is only for making myself smile as this life is not flat.
April 30, 2012
Living without any destination, without hope, let alone with loves, is very boring. I can't see, what will I be next. I want to be active again, I want to live with loves......
May 2, 2012 Wednesday
I checked my Facebook and found out that his account had been deleted, what did that mean? It meant that he had decided that he disregarded all the promises he made during he was in a Far East country. I realized that God must have been crazy on me. With some other issues that struck me lately, I think, now I have been finished, I have lost a lot, and I don't know, is he now be happy because he had benefited that much from the event in Malaysia? Is he happy now? I have no hope anymore, and my life could be flat from now on. I can't say anything, and I feel ashamed. I hope this is the God's will. I am still under put nishment by GOD, I do not know how must I live? I can expect nothing, I am hopeless. I do not know how I must have attitude toward his happening and the person included in it, I now only want to keep my health as good as possible, I am awaiting for my D-day. I will try to enter the real community to have a good life, though I don't think it is necessary to be done, because I don't have much faith now, but I will savor this life to the full. I don't say goodbye, and I don't wish to meet him also. Here I am...
December 15, 2012 at 00.05
I woke up this late night and opened my laptop. I found trouble here and there, could not open Facebook and Yahoo, I think it was because something incorrect in the browsers in my laptop, I should call someone to fix it.
It has been 3 months I stay in this house, I think, it's nowhere better than this place.I've got everything here, here I can savor my life to the full. I feel comfortable here. I am still a dreamer, wishing to have lot of luxurious as a successful elderly, having life with warm and tender love from the rest of family, I still also dream that such glory could be attained if I was awashed with money. And the reality now is telling different, I have been old and fragile, have not much money, and can do nothing, But I am happy, I can accept myself as the way it's to be. If dreams can make me happy, why not, I may still cling on it, while now I live in reality? Only one prayer I say every time "Please God, forgive me, may YOU bestow me an amazing and beautiful ending of my life, I beg YOU!
Life is not easy like this, and it will not easy in the days to come, if you can not do anything to make this life colorful. How? What shall I do? I know that I only have to live like a happy wanderer, like a cheerful sparrow. Singing along the mountain track. I want too, I want to fill this life with a happy song, no matter how empty this life will be,
Today April 26, 2012 I made another decision, now I have been free, I have no burden anymore, the burden here has gone. At least one burden has gone. To go on, I have only to make myself healthy.
Life is that so flat, like this sunday morning, I felt very gloomy, there is no other activities that can be done. Now, I have nothing to be done, and wonder, where will this life of mine will go? Yes, I confess that I still dream of the impossible, I know it, it is only for making myself smile as this life is not flat.
April 30, 2012
Living without any destination, without hope, let alone with loves, is very boring. I can't see, what will I be next. I want to be active again, I want to live with loves......
May 2, 2012 Wednesday
I checked my Facebook and found out that his account had been deleted, what did that mean? It meant that he had decided that he disregarded all the promises he made during he was in a Far East country. I realized that God must have been crazy on me. With some other issues that struck me lately, I think, now I have been finished, I have lost a lot, and I don't know, is he now be happy because he had benefited that much from the event in Malaysia? Is he happy now? I have no hope anymore, and my life could be flat from now on. I can't say anything, and I feel ashamed. I hope this is the God's will. I am still under put nishment by GOD, I do not know how must I live? I can expect nothing, I am hopeless. I do not know how I must have attitude toward his happening and the person included in it, I now only want to keep my health as good as possible, I am awaiting for my D-day. I will try to enter the real community to have a good life, though I don't think it is necessary to be done, because I don't have much faith now, but I will savor this life to the full. I don't say goodbye, and I don't wish to meet him also. Here I am...
December 15, 2012 at 00.05
I woke up this late night and opened my laptop. I found trouble here and there, could not open Facebook and Yahoo, I think it was because something incorrect in the browsers in my laptop, I should call someone to fix it.
It has been 3 months I stay in this house, I think, it's nowhere better than this place.I've got everything here, here I can savor my life to the full. I feel comfortable here. I am still a dreamer, wishing to have lot of luxurious as a successful elderly, having life with warm and tender love from the rest of family, I still also dream that such glory could be attained if I was awashed with money. And the reality now is telling different, I have been old and fragile, have not much money, and can do nothing, But I am happy, I can accept myself as the way it's to be. If dreams can make me happy, why not, I may still cling on it, while now I live in reality? Only one prayer I say every time "Please God, forgive me, may YOU bestow me an amazing and beautiful ending of my life, I beg YOU!
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