POST DREAMY LIFE
August 6, 2012
It is around one and a half month I am in Depok without any activities. I have been healthier now, I already can walk without stake and I think I have been healthy to make farther trip to other cities. and today I get some thoughts for how should I be in the coming moment. I hope I could take wiser path for my life now. I still am thinking a lot for this.
June 15, 2012
It is already more than one month I have been absent from this blogger.
I was just discharged from hospital three days ago. I had got accident, my leg was hurt and also my lumber was very painful.
As long as my soul is still inside with me, I have to make good every moment I have. The virtual world of dream had ended, now I must walk on with everything I have in my hand. Yes, I have lost everything, including my faith, even I want to protect my faith, I want to be a humble person for Allah SWT..
This evening my beloved Cuplis told a lot about rumors that had fast spread out amongst the in-law's family. I could grab it that story mostly was made up by herself, because she could be free to open my Facebook as well as my cellphone. She is already 20 years' old, but still immature, she knows how to make up a story, I believe it. The story was too complete for an outsider to tell all these. Yes, I was badly hurt by this story, as it was told by an outsider and had spread out fast to her family, and then I was also suspicious that her parents had also bad impression on me. Her parents in fact had nomore trusted me as a sincere elderly that wanted to help them in nurturing their children. I just realized that I was wrong thinking my in-laws' family had hated me in all aspect. They don't like me, it is possible, but having such a complete story, I don't believe it. Fortunately, I have a heart made of diamond. Since the beginning my heart has taken over everything and always made self defense to protect the whole of me from the danger of being succumbed or of being wrecked or taken into sickness. So, I was thinking of that made me plunged into such present difficulties, was because I am too careless in keeping my private secrets, that all can be unveiled by my cuplis. My cuplis and her mother who in fact feel disappointed on me.
One another thing was my good guy has closed his Facebook Account today. This had made my problem complete now. I have lost a lot, and today, I feel hopeless, even my faith also has gone blurred, I think today I have lost everything, also my future, and my life destination. But no, I am sorry, tomorrow I will be back to have routine rituals, even it is very impossible, I will always pray for my gorgeous future, I promise, I will always pray for all my dream, even it will be no use. I do not know what will happen tomorrow, but I will adhere my faith more sincere. I promise, amin, amin, amin.
Saturday, May 5, 2012 at 3:03
Thank God! Finally, I can start standing up. I have a contact with a friend, who has samilar destiny with me, we are both old spinster, but I am much older than hers. But she is a very vivid woman, she has a lot of talents and an easy going person, I wish I could learn something from her.Secondly, I made a job application to Google, who need writer and translator, yes, this is a good start, I think. I hope so, may God bless me forever, amin.
Sunday, May 6, 2012 at 5.40 am
Today some phrases were noted, they gave hopes, the sun will be shining on me, only when I can be patient and tougher in my faith, I quote now.
May 08, 2012
This morning I was told to go Depok, because house of there was empty, I should be there temporarily, may be for one week. I have already been ready for that. Vaya con Dios.
May 09, 2012
Yesterday evening at 22:00 I arrived at Depok, and now I was thinking of how my life would go on. Let bygone, be bygone. I need help, who can help me?
Before making a new post, I want to grudge what am I feeling now, so in the new post, no negative thinking will be there anymore. I know that I have been rejected, all my prayer are not sustained, I feel wrecked today, and fear that no future for me, even the future will only embarrass me. Shall I release myself from the present condition? Or shall I bear all these up. No other choice, I shall bear all this up.
Today, December 8, 2012, I reread the above groan. Thankfully, now I have found serenity life in small city of Candi, Jawa Timur, there is no wistful thinking anymore. Thank you.
It is around one and a half month I am in Depok without any activities. I have been healthier now, I already can walk without stake and I think I have been healthy to make farther trip to other cities. and today I get some thoughts for how should I be in the coming moment. I hope I could take wiser path for my life now. I still am thinking a lot for this.
June 15, 2012
It is already more than one month I have been absent from this blogger.
I was just discharged from hospital three days ago. I had got accident, my leg was hurt and also my lumber was very painful.
As long as my soul is still inside with me, I have to make good every moment I have. The virtual world of dream had ended, now I must walk on with everything I have in my hand. Yes, I have lost everything, including my faith, even I want to protect my faith, I want to be a humble person for Allah SWT..
This evening my beloved Cuplis told a lot about rumors that had fast spread out amongst the in-law's family. I could grab it that story mostly was made up by herself, because she could be free to open my Facebook as well as my cellphone. She is already 20 years' old, but still immature, she knows how to make up a story, I believe it. The story was too complete for an outsider to tell all these. Yes, I was badly hurt by this story, as it was told by an outsider and had spread out fast to her family, and then I was also suspicious that her parents had also bad impression on me. Her parents in fact had nomore trusted me as a sincere elderly that wanted to help them in nurturing their children. I just realized that I was wrong thinking my in-laws' family had hated me in all aspect. They don't like me, it is possible, but having such a complete story, I don't believe it. Fortunately, I have a heart made of diamond. Since the beginning my heart has taken over everything and always made self defense to protect the whole of me from the danger of being succumbed or of being wrecked or taken into sickness. So, I was thinking of that made me plunged into such present difficulties, was because I am too careless in keeping my private secrets, that all can be unveiled by my cuplis. My cuplis and her mother who in fact feel disappointed on me.
One another thing was my good guy has closed his Facebook Account today. This had made my problem complete now. I have lost a lot, and today, I feel hopeless, even my faith also has gone blurred, I think today I have lost everything, also my future, and my life destination. But no, I am sorry, tomorrow I will be back to have routine rituals, even it is very impossible, I will always pray for my gorgeous future, I promise, I will always pray for all my dream, even it will be no use. I do not know what will happen tomorrow, but I will adhere my faith more sincere. I promise, amin, amin, amin.
Saturday, May 5, 2012 at 3:03
Thank God! Finally, I can start standing up. I have a contact with a friend, who has samilar destiny with me, we are both old spinster, but I am much older than hers. But she is a very vivid woman, she has a lot of talents and an easy going person, I wish I could learn something from her.Secondly, I made a job application to Google, who need writer and translator, yes, this is a good start, I think. I hope so, may God bless me forever, amin.
Sunday, May 6, 2012 at 5.40 am
Today some phrases were noted, they gave hopes, the sun will be shining on me, only when I can be patient and tougher in my faith, I quote now.
- Romance will blossom whether it's renewed sense of commitment the one you love or a new person breezing into you. The real story is located at the center of your heart.
- Be happy, walk through with your head held high and live it up. What better way to get through your days than to play and feel excitement.
Yes, I realized that I must live my life up, surrender to the Mighty of Allah Swt, and wishing that my life will be well arranged by Him.
May 08, 2012
This morning I was told to go Depok, because house of there was empty, I should be there temporarily, may be for one week. I have already been ready for that. Vaya con Dios.
May 09, 2012
Yesterday evening at 22:00 I arrived at Depok, and now I was thinking of how my life would go on. Let bygone, be bygone. I need help, who can help me?
Before making a new post, I want to grudge what am I feeling now, so in the new post, no negative thinking will be there anymore. I know that I have been rejected, all my prayer are not sustained, I feel wrecked today, and fear that no future for me, even the future will only embarrass me. Shall I release myself from the present condition? Or shall I bear all these up. No other choice, I shall bear all this up.
Today, December 8, 2012, I reread the above groan. Thankfully, now I have found serenity life in small city of Candi, Jawa Timur, there is no wistful thinking anymore. Thank you.
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