SELF PREPARATION FOR RAMADHAN

May 29, 2013

This new post is intended for self preparing to welcome Ramadhan. I know, that I am not too sincere in praying, I haven't done it regularly yet. I am still indulged myself, I am still  trying to comfort myself. I do not complain about my present life, j'aime beaucoup mon train de vie. And I still hope there will still be a change in my life, I will be able to live gorgeously as an happy elderly, though living alone.

Today, May 30, 2013, I am to promise to hold praying every time just for self indulgence.And I promise to hold better structured life.
Today I totally failed, I am afraid that I will not have any chance to my obsession for reorganizing, resizing and repacking myself. I want to fast for 10 days to welcome the sacred month of Ramadhan, they say, if I can make use of 10 days  of this month of Rajab, I will be able to have hope for better life. I want to do this seriously.

Dear Sister, I regret very much, that this week I have failed to self discipline, I have done erractically the obligation of sholat, and I afraid of being ordinary person, I wanted to be special in this life. Even today, I failed to make self resizing. I am very upset and worry to much.
I have failed in reorganizing myself so far, I am so afraid of being disrespected by people surround me, so I must reorganize and restructure totally my own life. I have accepted myself as what I am and what I have, the thing that I want do, is to reorganizs, resizing and repact correctly.
Tomorrow, is the first monday of this month, I want to start doing all the above as I get the feeling of degrading, I want to have also the honor of being a person, an elderly of course. Of course, I want also to be on the stage and also dance beautifully, being alone is marvelous.

 I was thinking of taking this week for fasting, because I was afraid of losing my own confidence, and then feeling humiliated as my being existence in the family of Mas Bintoro.  I only want to think how I can walk gracefully in this world in my solitude life. Therefore, I need to do fasting.
I want to lead a  happy and gracious elderly, I am begging to GOD that I will not make my folks to be grieven over my situation and condition.

June  13, 2013

Two days ago, I received a message informing that my cellular number was chosen to get a prize No. IV under PIN No. 277fg49 and I was ask to open www.kejutanxlaxiata.blogspot,com, and I did that. On that website I found that prize IV was cheque of  IDR 49 million, I was asked to get in touch with Drs. Edy Gunawan, the director of  HO of PT XL AXIATA Jakarta for further information regarding said prize. (Call centre phones : 021-708507, 087714777977/0016287721217555). I could speak with Mr. Edy Gunawan who asked to supply my bank account number. Everybody told me that it was only a fraud. I agreed with them, because there were a lot of such messages were received on phones, and they were fraud. And I rechecked the website, further scrutinized all about the XL, I thought, the prizes were correct. I also checked my messsage sent to them yesterday, To my surprise, I made a mistake in that message, I had typing error on the number of my bank account, just now I tried to correct the error by sending a new SMS, but I was afraid that my SMS was rejected, meaning that I would not get the prize. Unlucky of me, but it's okay, it will not be any problem, beacuse I am a happy go lucky person. I will always be happy.
Oh I really feel sorry, very sorry, why do I become so careless, and I think my world will last only until this month, if only they are not robbing my money from the saldo balance in my account, I hope it will not happen. Let it be, what is gone, be by gone.
I know God often teases me by sending angels to test me or by blowing heaven wind, an enticement of being rich, so often feel getting prank, I was often deceived, like this prize of X L Axiata above. It's okay, iIt will not be any trouble for me, so it doesn't matter.
This morning  I went to ATM for checking the available balance in my account. Though no deposit into my account in connection with XL-Axiata prize, I feel relieved that nothing  is lost. I feel ashame, of course, and disappointment. But for own interest, I won't say anything, case is closed. Thank you.

June 25, 2013

Recently I had been too greedy, I ate everything uncontrolled. And since two days ago, I have got painful of my hip, I am feeling sick.I know, I should keep diet  And I have to return to normal activities!
On June20, 2013 I made a decicion to unschribe my membership of Sara Freder, and It is important that I will  not be ambigous in my faith. Thank you.

I have 3 main prayers in my life:
  1. beautiful and happy journey, as if I take  promenade in eden, no bad luck or catastrophe, want for nothing. I am healthy and happy always.
  2.  My life will end happily, brings no difficulty to my beloved  family, no burden for the rest of my family.
  3. If possible I die in good health condition, preferably my country or public can take over in taking care of my body, and a lot benefit will be received by my family, for their welfare.
I willl make them my daily prayers
  1. Be Self coordinative with all my faculties under the command of brain, heart has its own function to compose and love for the whole self-existance, 
  2. capable of self maintenance, for good health, sanity and beauty.
  3. When the time has come, I wish to have a special event that can take to heaven nicely, like one who steps into another room of life.
July 26, 2013
I have been in the month for about 16 days, there are 13 days left for Iedulfitri, meaning that I will do fasting for 13 days, and we are going to celebrate Hari Raya Iedul Fitri. It goes so good so far, only this morning I feel bad, I am not afraid of facing days to come, in poverty, may be, and I must believe that this will become the part of my life. I will not deny anything.

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