BE USEFUL AND BE HAPPY

At this time, I think, there is nothing can be done, I must be down-to-earth. I may not be a dreamer anymore, for the time is so close, so can I do everything in reality. I don't know what will be there tomorrow, but I know I must take good care of myself, I must comfort myself. I wish from today, every movement I am doing will be a kind of self comforting. Everyday I must make sure that I am in a correct position, I am in a right path, and I am doing anything rightly. From morning until night, everything I do is for comforting myself.

The enamy I faced is no one else but me, it is me,  myself. So I must win myself, I must throw away all the bad thought, I must make myself as a queen, a lovely queen. Just disregard all bad things that surrounding myself, I want only to fill loves and happiness, only. Thank you, my heart, thank you my mind, I can lead a happy life all alone. See everything from a correct angle, from a wisdom, be realistic. I know, I want to be a philanthropic, to do a lot of good deed to help other people, it will only of God will.
I am developing a feeling of gratitude. I have a very comfortable shelter. Other people are facing heavier problems, some can ruin not only his or her health, but also his or her future life, corruption cases, a celebrity, a wife of a musician, drove a mercedez car crashing a gate and crushing two luxurous vehicles in the garage of a prominant tycoon, Adiguna Sutowo and his third wife,  Vica. In news, there are a lot of wrecks happen, that I myself can not stand on this kind situastion. I don't have any heavy problem that involving future life of  the family. If my time has come, I pray, that there will be a nice  I only have to keep balanced, I may not ruin myself from my inner faculties. And I pray that God showers walfare and prosporous life to this family.

26th January, 2018
I decided to this post for continuatati

As an elderly, I know that my folks have happy events. I cannot attend because my tight situation, I don't have any expense for making a trip. Thanks Facebook for it can help me to make good communication to my folks. Have I led my life alone? Have I been far away from my folks? Living in reality will only leave me in an uncomfortable situation, attacks come from inside of me, that make me feeling blue. Reality will never comfort my existense. So I think I would be better to live in the world of dream, but now I don't want to be lost anywhere. That will be better, living in an ordinary room is fancied to be a castle. I will make myself a princess, I will render my royal services to my beautiful princess. I will make my princess useful and happy. I will be happy and keep on dreaming to be immersed in a pond of money. Just dream. I just dream being an angel, an angel of love and happiness.

Thank God. I believe in God. God saves my life.  I receive God's blessing. I am not a beggar. God send an angel to save my life. So, I am more submissive now, I make myself prepared for my further journey. May God lead me and protect me always, amin.

No all land is infertile, some of sown seeds can grow well and have plenty fruits. I am hereby expressing my sincere gratitude. Thank God.   

I have lavishly spent  money, I think I have done all, so I must stop and wisely use money. Thank you, thank you very much, it means a lot to me. I wish I could go on praying, I want to have passed this exam, I want to be ascended to the higher class, to higher level. I have been satisfied to have this present kind of life, I am grateful to the lovely folks here.  But I feel that this folks is rather disappointed, because I haven't been like what they want to. I make myself usefull, for myself, for the self comfort, but every night I pray, God grants 
the relief of these people, God ascends me to the higher level, to higher position. Amin.

Today, Sunday,  November 24, 2013 I feel very bad, for I don't want to do anything than sleeping, I indulge myself.

There is no power (to resist or to avoid bad deed in violation of God's law ) or strength (to perform good deed)  without God's permission.  J'ai besoin d'aide. J'ai besoin d'aide.

Yesterday, my eldest sister-in-law, Mrs. Thea Kusumo, launched her first book in the form of Memoirs : "JALAN YANG TELAH KULALUI". This is her very first book she wrote, at her age of 77 years, I really proud of her and also envy. Why? Because I have tried so long to write something, but unsuccesful, The launch yesterday was very successful.

There was a fatal  accidence happened yesterday (Monday, December 9, 2013)  in Jakarta, a commuter line crashed on a tanker truck of  gasoline making 7 lives lost and around 80 injured. it was real tragedy. Among  the death victims were young, the commuter line's driver,  assistant and technician, they were young men of the commuter lines or the employee of the railway company, what tragedy. But I believe, it was the God will, that accident could happen.
I have got air-ticket for  Jakarta on Dec 19, 2013. I am feeling gloomy, but I surrender, I hope I have been well prepared to take myself going forward, I wish the best for myself. Amin.

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