SAVORING LIFE TO THE FULL
Yes, now is the midnight of January 31, 2013, in a few minutes this date will change into 1st February 2013. I feel very good, and thank God for having guided me to this life. I hope, by now, I can walk in grace like a mother queen as if I were an angel that brought happiness to anyone surround me. I want to talk to Sara Freder;
Hallo, Sara, how are you? Is everything going well with you? I had done my duty this night, by 11.00 pm I had done my meditation as per your instruction. The important was I tried my best to go hand in hand with you, I wished you could help me in realizing my dreams.Yes, my dreams were I wanted to have a small beautiful castle in the middle of garden full with colorful roses and orchids at the foot of heaven gate, I'll be happy and cheerful always. Everyday, I will hum love song, for appreciation my life. If Sara has power, let her make me happy and glorious, but I pray to Allah swt to grant me good and happy life in reality.
Dear sister, life seems to go on flat. In fact, I have been able to accept myself as I am and as what becomes my properties at this moment. I think I will be able to live like today with least money. Though I realize that I feel envy to any woman of my age, because they are usually savoring great life because they have reaped what they have sown when they were young, they got some children that now have been grown up and success. They have a place called house, because they were married and if already became a widow, the house can be hers forever. They must be happy in the old days, they don't have to work for their own living, their children provide for her living, their children make her safe and happy.
I don't have such condition, because I had made my mind as not to get married and all alone in this world.
I wonder, will I be like this foreever? It is very pity, life seems so flat.
Now is February 11, 2013 Monday. I have been absent for about 10 days stanggering, walking unstable, because the reality that comes to the surface. I am alone, unemployed, meaning that I will have money. Until this day I still can take a part of the landlord tasks, that is preparing something for today's meal for about 7 people in the house, not thoroughly, only for daily spending, range about Rp. 15 to 25 thousand a day. Today is okay, I have done it. Do I worry? Yes, a lot. Because I am afraid that I can help my nephew here, because not he seems facing unfavourable condition. His wife's work seems not too smooth, and their household expenditure seems soaring. And I composedly accept my situation now. I believe when the time has come I must have the way to find a way out for my problems. Until this month, I am still having money for my daily expenditure. I don't have any activity to make money.
Therefore, I will do whatever I can, following the advice of Brian Tracy for disciplining myself. I alone, I have not any resource for my living, and I have nothing, let life go on .....
At the dawn on 15th February 2013. This time, I am at home, because my nephew and his family are going out of town for about 3 days. There are two other people in this house, they are a laborer for repairing a house and a maid, a helper to do house work. They are to be sent home next week, so I don't have to stay alone in this house.
In fact, my feeling now is not too good, because I am on the brim of bankruptcy, I have no money for the coming living, I worry about myself, of course, but now the situation is different. I understand that my nephew and his wife are now experiencing hard time, his wife's job is not so smooth, and he himself is also facing hard time, for his job is also not too renumerating. Some financial problems come up, like bill of electricity, bills of car tax, car installments etc., they have heavy burdens for their household expenditure. Unfortunately, my being is not too good, I cannot give my help in real material, because I myself hardly have nothing. My money has nearly finished. Until today I can still help them in preparing the daily meal for this house, but in next month, the month of March, I would not be able to do this, because no more money in my disposal.
I wish I could have a job that earn money, for my own necessity. I do worry very much, but fortunately, I feel so calm this time, I am not afraid. I even feel free to enjoy this kind situation. I want to earn money, but I still don't know what can I do. I want to bear up in this situation, because I think, it is normal, it is natural for me to face up this kind situation. Because I have been old, I have been out of time for making living now, I have no capital for investment, my strength has also much declined. Thank to my nephew and his family here who are willing to accommodate me. I know that I become their burden now, and I can't be of help, it is a pity, isn't it? This time, I don't want to complain, I know that I am disabled, I am praying for this family so that they have a better luck in the days to come, I hope so.
I will do as economical as possible, I don't want to ask help to my younger generation, I don't want to be a beggar. Though I still hope that some of them are moved to think of me, to think of my welfare, so they send me money at their own wish, I will appreciate it very much.
Yes, today is my ballad, a woman without nothing.
Since last week I had been indulged myself, doing nothing but dreaming.I am not afraid of the morrow anymore, as my health is improving, and more over living in this small town like has no urgent demand. In fact, I will follow the stream of my life, I will go wherever the life take me to. I have made a promise not to complain, especially to my younger generation anymore, because I don't want to be a beggar. But last night I was again breaking my own word, I made an email to my nephew, Hengky, if he would give me some amount of money. It is already done, and now I am waiting for his reaction.
February 21, 2012
Watching TV of Miss Indonesia Program made me realized that success is only for serious and hard-working people. It's correct with the saying "No pain, no gain". And I realize that in fact my life is not bad at all, I have nothing now, it is because that I have neglected myself, I don't have any preparation for my living today. But I thank God that I now live secluded in this special environment and nearly penniless. But I am happy, I love myself, I will suppot myself and make myself healthy.
March 1, 2013
Lately, I feel tasteless of my own life. I want to have vibrating life, but what can I do? I am only afraid that someday I must inform my landlord that I can nomore help them, I will only be a burden to them, I have no money. I have promised to myself, to make myself happy and cheerful, I love mysroceelf, I won't make myself disappointed, I will be happy forever.
If I noticed the life of anyone else in this world, I must feel content, my road was not bad, I was awashed of luxury, so no excuses for being unhappy so far.
MARCH 4, 2013
I have bad feeling today, because my money is going empty, I need to buy pulse for my blackberry, and I don't know whether I will have the cash for it or not, I will bear with myself, at this moment I am considering to ask to friends and relations (be a beggar). Que sera, sera.......
The time is ticking.... tomorrow I will have nomore money for daily expenditure, I will not be able to buy groceries. I am thinking to be a beggar. wanting to ask anyone who can lend a hand to me. But I'm afraid to make myself hurt, to smash my own confidence, to ruin my own life. Tomorrow is another day.
Marvelously, in the condition of penniless, I can make myself confort, I love myself, now I will always take care of myself.
Hallo, Sara, how are you? Is everything going well with you? I had done my duty this night, by 11.00 pm I had done my meditation as per your instruction. The important was I tried my best to go hand in hand with you, I wished you could help me in realizing my dreams.Yes, my dreams were I wanted to have a small beautiful castle in the middle of garden full with colorful roses and orchids at the foot of heaven gate, I'll be happy and cheerful always. Everyday, I will hum love song, for appreciation my life. If Sara has power, let her make me happy and glorious, but I pray to Allah swt to grant me good and happy life in reality.
Dear sister, life seems to go on flat. In fact, I have been able to accept myself as I am and as what becomes my properties at this moment. I think I will be able to live like today with least money. Though I realize that I feel envy to any woman of my age, because they are usually savoring great life because they have reaped what they have sown when they were young, they got some children that now have been grown up and success. They have a place called house, because they were married and if already became a widow, the house can be hers forever. They must be happy in the old days, they don't have to work for their own living, their children provide for her living, their children make her safe and happy.
I don't have such condition, because I had made my mind as not to get married and all alone in this world.
I wonder, will I be like this foreever? It is very pity, life seems so flat.
Now is February 11, 2013 Monday. I have been absent for about 10 days stanggering, walking unstable, because the reality that comes to the surface. I am alone, unemployed, meaning that I will have money. Until this day I still can take a part of the landlord tasks, that is preparing something for today's meal for about 7 people in the house, not thoroughly, only for daily spending, range about Rp. 15 to 25 thousand a day. Today is okay, I have done it. Do I worry? Yes, a lot. Because I am afraid that I can help my nephew here, because not he seems facing unfavourable condition. His wife's work seems not too smooth, and their household expenditure seems soaring. And I composedly accept my situation now. I believe when the time has come I must have the way to find a way out for my problems. Until this month, I am still having money for my daily expenditure. I don't have any activity to make money.
Therefore, I will do whatever I can, following the advice of Brian Tracy for disciplining myself. I alone, I have not any resource for my living, and I have nothing, let life go on .....
At the dawn on 15th February 2013. This time, I am at home, because my nephew and his family are going out of town for about 3 days. There are two other people in this house, they are a laborer for repairing a house and a maid, a helper to do house work. They are to be sent home next week, so I don't have to stay alone in this house.
In fact, my feeling now is not too good, because I am on the brim of bankruptcy, I have no money for the coming living, I worry about myself, of course, but now the situation is different. I understand that my nephew and his wife are now experiencing hard time, his wife's job is not so smooth, and he himself is also facing hard time, for his job is also not too renumerating. Some financial problems come up, like bill of electricity, bills of car tax, car installments etc., they have heavy burdens for their household expenditure. Unfortunately, my being is not too good, I cannot give my help in real material, because I myself hardly have nothing. My money has nearly finished. Until today I can still help them in preparing the daily meal for this house, but in next month, the month of March, I would not be able to do this, because no more money in my disposal.
I wish I could have a job that earn money, for my own necessity. I do worry very much, but fortunately, I feel so calm this time, I am not afraid. I even feel free to enjoy this kind situation. I want to earn money, but I still don't know what can I do. I want to bear up in this situation, because I think, it is normal, it is natural for me to face up this kind situation. Because I have been old, I have been out of time for making living now, I have no capital for investment, my strength has also much declined. Thank to my nephew and his family here who are willing to accommodate me. I know that I become their burden now, and I can't be of help, it is a pity, isn't it? This time, I don't want to complain, I know that I am disabled, I am praying for this family so that they have a better luck in the days to come, I hope so.
I will do as economical as possible, I don't want to ask help to my younger generation, I don't want to be a beggar. Though I still hope that some of them are moved to think of me, to think of my welfare, so they send me money at their own wish, I will appreciate it very much.
Yes, today is my ballad, a woman without nothing.
Since last week I had been indulged myself, doing nothing but dreaming.I am not afraid of the morrow anymore, as my health is improving, and more over living in this small town like has no urgent demand. In fact, I will follow the stream of my life, I will go wherever the life take me to. I have made a promise not to complain, especially to my younger generation anymore, because I don't want to be a beggar. But last night I was again breaking my own word, I made an email to my nephew, Hengky, if he would give me some amount of money. It is already done, and now I am waiting for his reaction.
February 21, 2012
Watching TV of Miss Indonesia Program made me realized that success is only for serious and hard-working people. It's correct with the saying "No pain, no gain". And I realize that in fact my life is not bad at all, I have nothing now, it is because that I have neglected myself, I don't have any preparation for my living today. But I thank God that I now live secluded in this special environment and nearly penniless. But I am happy, I love myself, I will suppot myself and make myself healthy.
March 1, 2013
Lately, I feel tasteless of my own life. I want to have vibrating life, but what can I do? I am only afraid that someday I must inform my landlord that I can nomore help them, I will only be a burden to them, I have no money. I have promised to myself, to make myself happy and cheerful, I love mysroceelf, I won't make myself disappointed, I will be happy forever.
If I noticed the life of anyone else in this world, I must feel content, my road was not bad, I was awashed of luxury, so no excuses for being unhappy so far.
MARCH 4, 2013
I have bad feeling today, because my money is going empty, I need to buy pulse for my blackberry, and I don't know whether I will have the cash for it or not, I will bear with myself, at this moment I am considering to ask to friends and relations (be a beggar). Que sera, sera.......
The time is ticking.... tomorrow I will have nomore money for daily expenditure, I will not be able to buy groceries. I am thinking to be a beggar. wanting to ask anyone who can lend a hand to me. But I'm afraid to make myself hurt, to smash my own confidence, to ruin my own life. Tomorrow is another day.
Marvelously, in the condition of penniless, I can make myself confort, I love myself, now I will always take care of myself.
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