Rosa Kelana

29 Juli 2011 - 00:05 Sebenarnya aku ingin memaki-maki, tapi takut juga, takut salah, sayang kan, kalau apa yang kualami ini bukan kesalahan. Bagaimanapun, itu semua merupakan cerita dalam perjalanan. Dari awal aku sudah berpikiran, bahwa keberuntungan yang sangat besar dan tiba-tiba itu tidak mungkin. Bisa mungkin, kalau keberuntungan itu diperoleh dari suatu kerja keras, perjuangan yang gigih, ataupun juga pengolahan modal yang besar. Keberuntungan semacam ini memang layak bagi siapapun yang telah berjuang. Kalau memang ada untung besar, yang datang begitu saja, hendaknya kita harus waspada, bisa-bisa itu hanya merupakan ujian, ujian mental yang sangat berat, karena di situ kita bisa terlalu dikuasai oleh emosi yang berlebihan sehingga bisa terpeleset ke dalam godaan-godaan setan, seperti main judi, main perempuan, atau menggunakan uang untuk berfoya-foya secara berlebihan; bisa juga sementara menunggu realisasi, bisa saja kita menjadi paranoid, berlebihan dalam berharap dan cemas...

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark At the end of the storm, there's a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain though your dreams be tossed and blown Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone you'll never walk alone Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone you'll ne-ever walk alone -------------------------- I got this song from Youtube, it's very touching I like it very much. I contacted Reni and she told  me a lot, she told that I was regretting to have gone from Depok, Therefore I became resolve that I would not be back to them, because I found my world here. I knew, here I did not have much things or could do a lot, but I was happy here, I did not want to return, back to my yesterday life. I had prepared also to live like this for the rest of my life. It could be that I woul...

I have decided to choose this kind of life. I wanted to live in normal condition, I wanted to have activities for winning bread for self support. yet I could not begin to initiate this kind of life. I am afraid that I will be like another lonely woman in this world, but I tried to be patient because it is what I have chosen, I must adhere what has been chosen by myself. November 09, 2012 It's nearly 3 months since I was leaving Depok, West Java. On August 28, I left for Semarang from Depok by Karuna Travel, this kind of transportation I could afford that time. and I stayed in Semarang for about 2 weeks. On 10th of September, I left for Surabaya by Wisata Karya Travel with the destination of Mas Fatah's house at Karangan, Surabaya. I stayed overnight there and on on 12th I went to Surono's house in Candi, Sidoarjo. So, tomorrow, on 12th November 2012, I would be 2 months staying with his family there. Thank God, that I am well accepted by his family here. I am very pea...

August 6, 2012  It is around one and a half month I am in Depok without any activities. I have been healthier now, I already can walk without stake and I think I have been healthy to make farther trip to other cities. and today I get some thoughts for how should I be in the coming moment. I hope I could take wiser path for my life now. I still am thinking a lot for this. June 15, 2012 It is already more than one month I have been absent from this blogger. I was just discharged from hospital three days ago. I had got accident, my leg was hurt and also my lumber was very painful. As long as my soul is still inside with me, I have to make good every moment I have. The virtual world of dream had ended, now I must walk on with everything I have in my hand. Yes, I have lost everything, including my faith, even I want to protect my faith, I want to be a humble person for Allah SWT.. This evening my beloved Cuplis told a lot about rumors that had fast spread out amongst the in-la...

I hope this becomes my new era, as from Sunday, 22nd April 2012, I walk on in the crowd, nothing special from now on. I just lost nearly everything, world, wealth, and also "head". I  want to live as good as possible, I can make myself  look as happy as possible, I have long time withdrawn from normal life, from society, Now, when I have nothing, I am to walk on and make this life good. Yes, maybe everything will not be important now, having world and wealth will only make other people envy. Envy will make crook, dishonest  person to commit crime. From now on I must walk in a grace as if I am a wealthy woman, full with loves and happiness. Yes, that's it. I will do it. Life  is not easy like this, and it will not easy in the days to come, if you can not do anything to make this life  colorful. How? What shall I do? I know that I only have to live like a happy wanderer,  like a cheerful sparrow. Singing along the mountain track. I want too, I want to fill ...

In the month of November 2011, I got a lot of surprises, I received some admirers. They noted from my profile which I was thinking it was on the program "Are You Interested". They say I have a nice picture and profile, therefore they want to get acquainted with me. I have been slightly misunderstood at first, I thought they wanted only to make friends. Later, I realized, it was a program of online dating; it is ridiculous, isn't it? A woman of my age wants to get match online basis. Some guys came to greet me, they are around 7 persons, come as widower or single parent, or single, they want to have close relationship,I am really unprepared for this game. Yes, it is very very ridiculous, they are middle ages, in their late fortieth. I really could not accept it. There is one good guy, who boldly tries to understand me, he knows that I am a very head strong, I am much older than him, but he wants to know me more. As my sincere appreciation to my best friend, Mr. Alesandra...

This is day 2, I have received no message from my loved one, I feel withered, my heart becomes gloom; is it a love? I may get angry, because I only want to know his well-being. It turns out that I dare not be angry to him, he is innocent, I have never asked him anything, so he doesn't have to take any permission whatsoever for anything he wants to do. He is free to do anything, I may not cling him, I may not control him. For in fact, I am also not prepared to be his. I have just taken his hand to walk along with me hand-in-hand. So he may go away. I only will give him a portion of my hearty gratitude. This morning, I felt I was attacked by my own heart. My own heart has given me a test, will I be carried away with such situation, or can I realize that the important thing is my health, my thorough health. It is a must, because tomorrow I still do not know what will happen to my life. Dreams are always there; but dreams are just dreams, I think. I have tried to change myself, but...

This morning, I walked under the rain, along the street I was pondering about myself my present condition as well my future wish. My religious discipline is not too good, I am not working, and hence no money at all, so no house for old days of mine. I have tried for changes in me, but seems I couldn't change my appearance, There are a lot changes in me, I am healthy, have a lot of love, and happiness. Thank God. on this kind condition, I will be able to walk on with happy and love. In deep of my heart, I really don't want a son-to-be, I only want a robust elderly, The honorable Mahatma, this man should be able to grab me, pull me out from where I be, and to take me away with him. I will be patient to wait until it can be realized. For now, I still need to get in touch with a son-to-be, it is not my intention to tightly hold him, I only need him as the power of my gripping my handle, if he has already find his loved, he may go away, he may go away, I hope, he goes with happy ...